


Birthday Wishes

by StormyBear30



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:29:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brian gets his wish on his 30th birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Wishes

I still can’t believe that it happened. It was the greatest night of my life and the biggest nightmare as well. I felt highs that I had never experienced in my lifetime and then the next morning and days after that I experienced the lowest of the lows. Confused…wondering what the hell I am talking about…well wonder no more. It all started on a cold and rainy night on the thirty-fifth birthday of the one and only Brian Kinney.

“So Brian how does it feel to be thirty five?” I heard the slightly slurred voice of one Justin Taylor tease Brian as we all three stumbled into the loft arm in arm without a care in the world. It was the night of Brian’s thirty-fifth birthday and to say that we had been out celebrating was definitely an understatement. It all started with dinner and a not so surprise birthday party at Linds and Mel’s house…followed by drinks and several games of pool at Woody’s…only to be capped off my hours of drinking…drugs and dancing at Babylon. By the end of the night none of us were feeling and pain and yet despite the late hour none of us were ready to call it a night either. They had practically thrown us out of Babylon during those early morning hours and so we decided to bring the party to the loft where we planned to consume even more amounts of alcohol and even more drugs.

“It feels fucking fantastic” he screamed a bit too loudly…causing us both to fall into fits of laughter as he tripped over his own two feet and fell to the floor below him.

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea” I giggled…trying to be the adult of the situation…but failing miserably when I too landed with a grunt and a thud on my backside as well. “Or maybe I should just shut the fuck up” my laughter continued as Brian sat beside me nodding with a devilish look upon his face.

“So Brian…” Justin called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the kitchen only to reappear mere moments later with a full bottle of Jim Beam and three empty glasses. “Now that you’ve hit the big three five and have everything you could want in the world…what will you do now?” he questioned as he sat his wares on the floor in front of us before plopping down beside Brian. The truth was that Brian did have everything that he wanted. He still had his looks because if anything his advancing age had only made him even more devastatingly handsome. He had an extremely lucrative career running his own advertising agency and more money then he knew what to do with. He had it all…he had done it all…or so we thought.

“I don’t have everything I want in the world” he leered as he leaned over and kissed the grinning man with a look of knowing upon his face. Even then…even after they had been split up for more then a year there was no denying the chemistry between the two of them…and the jealousy coming off of me in droves. Saddened I took once last looked at the two of them as they continued to play tonsil hockey with each other…before I attempted to give them the privacy that they apparently wanted. “Where do you think that you are going?” Brian asked as he latched onto my arm pulling me so close to his body that I could smell strongly the scent of cigarettes and his fine cologne.

“I think that I am going to go home” I tried to speak plainly…a fire beginning to burn in my belly as he looked me top to bottom before winding his free hand within my hair as he drew me even closer.

“I haven’t gotten everything that I wanted yet” he spoke with words so full of lust that it sent shivers up my spine. I didn’t have a change to utter a single word as he quickly diminished the distance between us as he captured my stunned lips under his own as he had previously done with Justin. I was caught unguarded for only a second before I fell into the kiss that was both hot and devouring at the same time. I didn’t know what Brian was up to…but I quickly got the idea as he broke out shared lip lock…hand still intertwined with my hair as he did the same to Justin with the other hand. I felt a slight pressure begin to press against my scalp as he inched my face towards the hovering face of his former lover. My heart was palpitating crazily with my chest as closer and closer our faces loomed…until our lips were pressed together. At first we just sat there…lips pressed together without moving as we stared into each other’s eyes. It was as if we were trying to decide what to do next…or if we were even ready to do it at all…but Brian had other ideas as he tilted Justin’s head just enough to pry my mouth open just the littlest of bits…but that was more then enough for him to begin. Before I knew what was happening I had Justin’s tongue within my mouth…taunting me…teasing me in ways that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I didn’t even put up a fight as I gave into the kiss…giving him even more then he was giving to me. I could hear Brian chuckled beside us and I knew that it was all over after that. That night things between the three of us were about to take a drastic turn…one that none of us even considered until it was to late.

“You two are so fucking hot together” I heard him whisper against my ear as he slide his body behind mine…his hands making their way across my sides where they landed upon my heaving chest. I knew that Brian knew exactly what he was doing and I knew exactly what was going to happen and despite the fact that I was a little unnerved to be doing it with Justin in the mix. However…I was ecstatic to be doing it with the greatest love of my life at all and so I allowed his seduction to continue. His hands were everywhere as he continued to explore the fire of my body. Justin wasn’t inactive either as he completely bridged the gap between the two of us…as he continued to fuck my mouth. Brian’s lips then began to explore and torture the skin of my neck…sending my already hardening dick into full expanse. Oh don’t get my wrong…my hands weren’t idol as I quickly relieved Justin of his shirt…after breaking his mind numbing lip lock as I too began to nibble and slide along the curves of his snow white chest. His skin was so soft…as soft as Gus’s as I nipped and tugged at the tender flesh…leaving my mark wherever I went.

I knew what we were about to do was wrong…knew that after that night that nothing was going to be the same again…but in my drug and alcohol induced state I didn’t care. I was hot and horny and after nearly twenty of wanting and needing to fuck Brian…there was no way that I was going to lose my chance…even if it meant that I had to fuck Justin in the mix. “Lay down…” I panted against his throat…loving the way that his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down against my lips as he swallowed nervously. He didn’t put up a fight as he lay down on his back…his hands stroking the same skin that I had marked as my own mere moments before. With nimble hands I removed his jeans…along with his underwear in one fell swoop until he was laying fully brazen before me with a look of lust screaming out from blue eyed depths. Already on my knees I shifted him forward…pushing his legs forward until he was fully exposed to my eager gaze. I could see why Brian had continued to fuck him on a regular basis after he lad literally just forced his way into his life. The man was huge as his swollen and purple member swayed tauntingly before me. It was as if I heard it calling out to me…taunting me…begging me to suck it…mouth fuck it and who was I to deny it what it needed most. Leaning forward I captured the already oozing member at it’s base with my hand as I gave it a few quick action pumps in ready…before running the tip of my tongue across the slitted tip.

“Holy shit…” I heard Brian call out behind me…his hands stalled upon my back as he watched the action that I was giving his former boy toy. I don’t think that he expected me to fall so quickly into the act…but I was there and I was ready…and there was no way that I was stopping what I had already started. I couldn’t help but smile against Justin’s ramrod as I felt brushes of what I assumed to be Brian’s disappearing clothing across my back. I had to fight the urge to cry out in anger as he literally jerked me away from the dick that I was enjoying feasting up…slamming me against the heat of his naked flesh before attacking my mouth with his own. Closing my eyes…I allowed the ambush on my unsuspecting lips as he weaved his hands under the knit of my shirt…raking his nails across the pale skin of my chest. “You have to many clothes on” he grunted against my ear once he broke our kiss of wanton passion…tugging it almost painfully before he literally ripped the cloth from my body.

“Fuck Brian…” I cried out…arching backwards against his body once again as the need to feel his heat consumed me once again.

“I’ll buy you a new one” was his lust filled reply. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry once I realized that he thought I was upset about my fucking shirt…when it was meant as a cry for what I had been dying for practically my whole life. I forced those thoughts away as he unbuttoned my pants from where he continued to slink up and down my body behind me…his hand quickly bridging any room that might have been there as he cupped my aching penis within his hand.

“HELLO…” I heard Justin cry out painfully and I knew exactly why as I looked down and found that his dick had in fact nearly doubled in size. Immediately my mouth began to water as I continued to gaze upon its hugeness. I wanted it…I craved it and with no other thought in mind…since I was a gay man who loved to have a dick sliding in and out of my mouth…I practically inhaled him. “HOLY SHIT” his shouts rang out into the hugeness of the loft as I continued to give him the greatest blowjob of his young life. His dick was amazing as it nearly filled my mouth to capacity…luckily I was used to having dicks of all shapes and sizes in my mouth so this was of no concern to me. His breathing was hitched and rampant with every swipe and suckle that I made upon his sensitive member. I was in heaven…glorious heaven as I continued with my oral fixation on Justin while reveling in the feel of Brian’s hand upon my own raging member. “Brian” I spoke…the vibrations ricocheting from the back of my throat as they strummed along the length of Justin’s penis. “Do it again…” I heard him cry out…but before I had a chance Brian’s touch was no longer on me as I jerked my mouth away from where Justin wanted it most to see what was happening. “Brian…” I whispered almost fearfully as he continued to kneel nude before me with a look I could not quite make out across his face. Nervousness began to creep its ugly head within my mind as he pulled himself up off of the floor…taking me with him as he once again crushed me against his body. A writhing and groaning Justin was forgotten as he ran his hands long the length of my back…before inserting them within the brim of my waistband. With one shift of his hand those constrictive pants were gone as he grabbed me by the hand…reaching down to grab Justin by his dick before leading us into the bedroom. So there we were…three naked and horny friends about to embark on a journey that none of us should have entered in the first place.

“On your back” he instructed to Justin as he shoved him across the expanse of the bed. I could tell by the look on his angelic fact that he knew what was about to come next as he grinned up at the two of us. “Straddle him…” his tutoring continued as he nudged me forward and as usual I attempted to do as he asked…only to stop short as he grabbed onto my arm and jerked me back towards him again. “Not like that…sixty nine” he urged…once again nudging me in the position that he wanted me to be in. At first I balked at the idea of placing my dick anywhere near Justin’s mouth…but as looked down at his waggling tongue I quickly gave up the fight. That night was all about experimentation…and I had to admit that over the years as Justin and I became closer there were times when I wondered what it would have been like to suck him…have him suck me…fuck me even. That night was my chance to live out all of my fantasies…including having the love of my life fuck me senseless. Justin out did all of my fantasies as he blew me with the skill that only the master could have taught him. He was rough and tortuous…tender and giving as he played my dick like a fine instrument…as I also did the same to his.

I was dying to have Brian’s dick wedged so deep within my ass as I continued to suck Justin off…but he was having none of it as he jerked himself off beside our writhing forms. I could feel his hand upon my reddened skin as he steadied himself upon it…while devouring us with his eyes. He was the first to come as his spunk splattered all over my back and side as he milked himself dry. The feel of the sticky goo was as close to the fantasy as I had gotten as I let out a scream of passion before filling Justin’s mouth with my juices. Once I had gotten control of myself I returned my full attention back to Justin…only to find Brian’s face hovering nearby with a look of lust that I had seen more times then I cared to remember in his eyes. Stretching out his tongue…he licked the only exposed bit of flesh of Justin’s dick…moving upwards as he did the same to my fully loaded mouth. His face inched even closer as he nudged me away from the member I was trying to remember how to make cum…enveloping it within the confines of his own mouth. His hand snaked its way over my shoulder and into my hair as he pulled me back to my original position…offering the tasty treat to me once again. Back and forth we tortured and teased poor Justin until I thought he was going to explode into nothingness right there before us. I didn’t know it before that night…but Justin and Brian when they were dating had liked to play control issues…Brian always being in control. I was amazed that Justin has held out so long…but my amazement didn’t last for long as with one simple word Justin covered both of our faces with his manly juices. “Come…” he spoke simple and he did exactly that. Justin was forgotten momentarily as he tried to come to his senses as Brian and I began to clean each other off…with our tongues until we were both clean as a whistle.

“I want you to fuck me Brian…” I begged…wrapping my arms around my hopeful soon to be lover as I stared into his beautiful hazel eyes searching for understanding.

“No way Mikey…that gorgous ass is all mine” I heard Justin bellow beside me and before I had a chance to speak a word of opposition…he was protected and had me at his mercy. I wanted Brian in a way that was almost obsessive…but as Justin began to prepare my hole for his invasion…I momentarily forgot all about Brian and my need of him. I couldn’t control the cries of frenzied passion that erupted from my throat as Justin quickly filled me with his giganticness as I grabbed onto Brian…who was kneeling before me for support. Forehead to forehead we laid as his little sunshine continued to fuck me for all he was worth. My eyes were closed tightly as I enjoyed every single ripple of pleasure as it consumed me wave after wave. I was half way fulfilled as the sensations that he was causing me continued…and the pain in my balls intensified. Eyes flying open…I found myself lost in a sea of green as Brian…as if sensing my pleasureful distress began to stork my dripping dick. We never broke that contact as the awareness of what they were doing overwhelmed me. I came again hard and fast…all over Brian’s hand and comforter before Justin exploded loudly behind me. Exhausted I slide down the length of Brian’s body…unable to move or caring to as Brian left his stance before me…repositioning himself behind Justin. I watched in astute fascination as he reached across the bed…plucking a condom from the vase next to it. I watched as he covered his beautiful…pulsing member…before situating Justin’s body above me. Ass in air…Justin laid his head upon my sweaty chest as Brian proceeded to fuck him into oblivion. It didn’t last as long as I had heard it usually did…but I didn’t care because it was at the exact moment that the urge to flee hit me head on. I didn’t leave…not right away however…as Justin fell to my side afterwards…Brian slipping behind him once he had disposed of the filled lambskin.

We all laid in silence afterwards…for there were really no words to be spoken after what we had done. All that was heard was the heavy breathing of three men as they each tried to come to herms with what it was that had just happened. Justin was the first to fall asleep and who could blame him as he snuggled deep within Brian’s arms. I had fallen asleep a time or two in those arms myself and as I continued to lay there I could not help but feel cheated and used. Brian was the next to nod off…as soft snores of exhaustion rolled over his partially open lips. There was no sleep for me that night…not a wink. I waited another thirty minutes after Brian dozed off before I untangled myself from the pretzel that Justin had me tangled in. Tears misted my eyes…and a few pre-teared hiccups escaped me as I searched frantically for my elusive clothing. I had to get out of there as soon as I could…because with each passing minute I found that it was getting harder and harder to breath. It had been years since I had experienced an asthma attack and as I stumbled down the stairs of his loft…I quickly found that it was not that…but a fucking horrendous panic attack instead.

I must have sat on those steps trying to remember how to breathe for at least an hour. It was horrible…the pain…the fear…the foolishness of being a grown man and having a panic attack like a fearful child. I was embarrassed beyond belief that I had allowed myself to act in such a careless and decedent way. I was pissed off because once again when an opportunity for Brian to fuck me came his way…he once again left me cold. I was fearful that finally after so many attempts…after so much shit that the Brian and Mikey show was finally going to be cancelled for good. I didn’t know what was going to happen between Justin and I…and in truth I really didn’t care. Justin and I were work partners and nothing else really. Sure…I liked Justin…even cared for him some…but I knew that with Justin that we could move past the uncomfortableness that I knew was sure to come. I didn’t feel that way about Brian though. Tears once again littered my cheeks as I finally got control of my functions and staggered my way out into the freezing early morning hours. I opted to forgo the cab ride home…instead to walk the thirty or so blocks that separated me from my home…my sanctuary…my escape.

I didn’t talk to either one of them for days after that strange night. I avoided the diner…Woody’s and Babylon. I kept my cell phone off...turned off the answering machine and developed a deep hatred for the phone. After day two the phone stopped ringing…but I knew that things were not just going to end there. Justin was the first to show up at my comic book store late one night as I tried to concentrate on the inventory list that I had before me. It was nearly impossible since the images of Brian’s naked body kept hovering before my weary eyes…instead of the names and numbers there. The jingling of the bell caught my attention as I walked out into the store…happy to have a distraction despite the fact that I was closed and had forgotten to lock the door. “How can I help you?” I questioned with a happy smile as I walked up on my customer…my smile faltering once I realized whom it was standing there. “I’m closed” I spoke lamely…trying to move past him in order to lock the front door.

“Yeah…more like closed off” was Justin’s smug reply as he ogled me from top to bottom. “I just wanted to make sure that you were still alive since no one has seen hide nor hair of you since that night”

“I’ve been busy” I lied…focusing my attention back to the inventory list I was still clutching in my hand. He didn’t say anything at first…just nodded his head in understanding. “Look Michael…I know that you are uncomfortable about the other night. Hell I feel the same way…but I want to make sure that Rage is not going to suffer because of a drunken…yet mind blowing mistake” he went on nervously with a smile…causing me to smile in return because it was then that I realized that he felt just as stupid and embarrassed as I did.

“It won’t” I replied truthfully with a shake of my head as I graced him with a smile of relief. “Boy that was some night” I laughed uneasily…placing the inventory list upon the counter as I turned to face him once again.

“It was an amazing night” his laughter returned. “Jesus Mikey…who knew that you were such a tiger in bed” he teased…taking a step closer to me. “Man…I can still feel your mouth on my dick. It was so fucking hot…you are so fucking hot” he continued with his words…lust dripping heavily with each one. I didn’t know what to say…how to react to his obvious come on as I stood before him swallowing nervously. I watched in stunned fascination as he brought his hand up and placed it upon my heaving chest…watched as he began to trace a zigzag pattern upon it. Not once did he break the lock that his blue eyes had on my own. “You know if you wanted to have a repeat performance then we…”

“What the fuck is going on here?” I heard an extremely loud…extremely upset voice question behind us.

“Brian…” I squeaked out…stepping away from Justin as fast as I could as I took refuge behind the counter.

“I said what the fuck is going on here” he barked out once again…looking from Justin to myself. I could see the anger in his eyes and as much as I wanted to believe that this anger was directed at Justin…I could tell that it was solely directed at me.

“Nothing…NOW” Justin screamed turning to face Brian with his hands on his hips in utter defiance. I had to control the urge to laugh as they stood face to face…neither speaking a word but saying all they had to say with anger filled eyes.

“Nothing was going on” I lied as I forced myself to come out from behind my safe place and break up whatever it was that was going on between the two men still glaring at each other. “Everything is fine” my lies continued as I grabbed Justin by the shoulders and began to maneuver him towards the front door…grabbing Brian by the arm of his leather jacket as well as I attempted to do the same with him. “So now that we know everything is fine you both can go and leave me to my inventory”

“I’m not going anywhere” was Brian’s response as he jerked his arm away from my grasp and walked casually over to the couch in the corner. “Not until I get to talk to you…ALONE” he yelled in the direction of Justin as he fell backwards onto the couch.

I watched as Justin’s lips curled up into a sneer…watched as he began to speak words that I knew were going to be mean and hateful…but I stopped him. Don’t ask me why…because I sure as hell didn’t know…but I did. With a final push I managed to move him out the front door…where I begged of him to understand and with a promise to call him later. He didn’t say anything…just showed me one of his patient sunshine smiles before grabbing onto both sides of my head before planting a wet and sloppy kiss upon my unsuspecting lips. I could only stand there in stunned silence as I watched him run down the street before turning around at the corner and flashing another smile my way before disappearing from my sight.

“Oh this just gets fucking better and better” I heard Brian speak in angered tones behind me as I shook my head back in forth...in order to gain my bearings. “So what the hell…you and Justin are dating now?” he asked…walking up behind me as I closed the door.

“No…it’s not like that” I spoke almost silently as I attempted to make my way past him.

“So you are just fucking on the side” he recounted…grabbing me by the shoulders as he spun me around to face him.

“Were not doing anything and what the fuck do you care for anyways?” was my own angered reply as I jerked myself as far away from him as I could. “I thought you and Justin were through…thought that he was free game to anyone that he might want to fuck” I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice…but it was a complete failure since I was welling over with nothing but bitterness.

“And you think that he wants to fuck you?” he asked…his brow creased…his lips pursed as he awaited my reply.

I tried to bit my tongue…tried to curb the emotions that were basically devouring me whole…but again I could not. I was tired of Brian and his bullshit…tired of him trying to control my life and yet not willing to give me the side benefits. I was tired of living my life in denial that one day he would realize that he loved me almost as much as I loved him…but most importantly I was just plain tired of the hurt the had taken up near permanent refuge deep within my heart when it came him. “I know that he wants to fuck me since he told me so himself and you know what Brian…I just might let him do it” I screamed directly into his face as I placed my shivering frame once again before him. “So what do you think about that?” I questioned him…poking him in the chest for good measure as I stared into shimmering eyes filled with such angered emotions.

“I say that it’s not going to happen again” he ground out through clenched teeth…poking me in the chest as I had done to him earlier. “He’s had you once…and once only. I refuse to stand by and allow it to happen again”

I was stunned…stupefied…and flabbergasted…but only for a short time as my infamous Novotny temper got the best of me. Before he or I knew what was happening I had him pinned against the wall behind him. He tried to struggle out of my grasp…but it was steel like as I inhaled several times before speaking. This side of me rarely came out…but when I had been pushed far enough over the breaking point it was released and I was powerless to stop it. “Fuck you Brian…” my obsessed anger began to speak…jerking his face towards my own for I wanted him to hear my words quite clearly. “You had your chance with Justin. Hell…you had several chances with Justin…but you blew them all. You used him and made him fall in love with you and then you tossed him aside like yesterdays garbage when you were done with him. However…it seems you decided to recycle since you continue to drag him along. Giving him bits and pieces of your affections…just enough to make him feel that you might actually love him. Sound familiar Brian…since you’ve done the same thing to me all of my fucking life” my ranted madness continued as he stood silently before me…but those eyes they continued to fill and swirl with an anger that I knew was about to be unleashed…but I was determined not before I had been able to release my own. “You’ve been allowed to fuck with our hearts and our minds for far to long and now the madness is going to stop. You don’t own Justin…you don’t own me and we can fuck each other or who ever the fuck we feel like without your permission or approval”

“You think that I give two shits about whom Justin fucks?” he asked quickly…his heated breath rasping across my already heated face.

“Of course you do…because you sure as hell don’t give two shits about who I fuck” I trudged on…once again poking him in the chest. “Since all I’ve wanted for the past twenty fucking years was for you to fuck me and even with me naked and ready in your bed…you still couldn’t give me what I wanted. So fuck you Brian…fuck you…fuck you…fuck you” I poked his chest with each rage filled word.

“Knock it off Mikey” he warned…giving me a glare so hateful that it only fueled my own anger even more.

“Or what Brian?” I dared…poking in a good on once again for good measure…knowing good and well that it was going to leave a mark. “What the fuck are you going to do about it” I pushed even harder…even further as I put my whole hand into the motion. I was on a role…madder then I had been in a long time and I felt I had control. However…I quickly learned that I had anything other then control as he grabbed painfully onto my wrist…bending it backwards until I was biting my bottom lip to control my outburst of pain.

“Had enough?” he asked me…never once letting go of the grip that he had upon me.

“Fuck you…” I spat…throwing my other hand into the mix…only to have that one latched onto as well. In a move that I still cannot quite remember he had reversed our roles and had me pinned against the wall behind us. My arms were painfully drawn over my head…my hips and my legs pinned as well by the narrow stance of his hips. “Let me go mother fucker” I rushed out…trying like hell not to get turned on by the fact that his hardened dick was poking me…taunting me…teasing me... I tried to break free…really I did…but he was having none of it as he pushed forward even harder.

“Or what Mikey?” he asked leer fully. “Just what are you going to do about it big man?”

“I fucking hate you” I spat back…trying like hell once again to remove myself from his grip but he only tightened it even more.

“You want me to fuck you Mikey?” he asked…licking almost playfully at my nose…but I could still see the clear and apparent anger in his hazel eyes. “Well tonight you are going to get your wish” he went on…licking at my lips instead before literally devouring them under his own. I tried to fight him…or maybe I didn’t…who can remember as I quickly gave into the kiss of fury and emotions. It wasn’t a sweet kiss…wasn’t sweet in anyway whatsoever. What it was was a kiss of dominance…a kiss that told me in clear and uncertain terms that no matter what he was always going to be the one in charge and despite my determination he was going to be the victor. I however had other ideas for in my mind there was only going to be one victor and that victor was going to be me. He was angry…and so was I and before I knew what had happened we were naked and on the floor as a dance of dominance ensued. Lips gnashed…teeth bit as we tried like hell to inflict any amount of pain possible upon each other. I was completely turned on at that moment in time and despite my earlier determination to be victorious my body quickly betrayed me as it gave up that role as he pinned me onto my stomach…holding me down painfully with his knees as he shielded his dick with a protective covering. I gave a final effort to release myself…but he was having none of it as with a quick and decisive shove he was deeply embedded within me.

My cries were loud and haunting. They were cries of searing pain as he invaded my unprepared crevice. They were cries of shock and betrayal…mixed in with cries of pleasureful pain…but most importantly they were cries of a broken heart because no matter how much I had wanted Brian up until that point…the way that it happened was not how I envisioned it to be. Neither of us lasted long as years of pent up frustration and newly acquired pain pushed us onward. After we came…no one said a word as we lay there on the floor our breaths ragged and unsure as we tried to figure out what to do next. The silence was deafening and slowly driving me mad as I pulled myself away from the heat of his body. “Get out…” I said through my ragged breath as I pulled myself into a sitting position…grimacing in pain from my previous attack.

“Mikey…” he whispered as he too sat up…looking at me through eyes that were no longer filled with hate…but replaced with what looked to be fear and confusion. I wanted to make that look go away…wanted to pull him against my bosom and assure him that everything would be ok…but I couldn’t. Too much had been said…lines had been crossed and too much damage had been done. It was finally over…the friendship that was Mikey and Brian had finally been destroyed in a single act of stupidity. “Mikey…” he whispered again…as he reached out his hand to me…but I wanted him gone. I wanted him out of my life…out of my head…but most importantly out of my heart.

“Please Brian…” I begged. “Just leave” Dratted tears began to mist my eyes as I pulled them away from his face…picking up my discarded clothing before racing bare assed into the back storeroom. I hid in the small confines of the bathroom as with shaky hands dressed myself. I waited until I thought he was gone before walking with silent strides towards the front of the store. Peeking through the door I quickly scanned the area…letting our the breath that I had been holding as I raced across the room in order to lock the front door that he had just exited. My tears finally got the better of me as I fell before that door…sobbing uncontrollably as I tried to come to terms with what had just happened between the two of us. The fact of the matter was that I had gotten what I had always wanted. I had gotten fucked by the one and only Brian Kinney…and oh what a fucking it was…in more ways then one.

I don’t know how long I sat on that hard floor…it could have been minutes…but probably more like hours as I fell into an almost coma like stance. I couldn’t move…couldn’t blink…could barely breath as images of days gone past began to over inhabit my already fucked up mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about him…couldn’t stop thinking about the roller coaster ride that had always been Brian and Mikey’s great adventure. I was hurt…confused and more then I little angry…but that didn’t stop me from thinking about him. I quickly realized just how pathetic…how dependent…how horribly sad I was when it came to loving Brian Kinney. It was at that very moment that I knew…just like I always knew…that I would love him until the day that I died. I knew that there was nothing…no amount of hurt and pain…no amount of betrayal that he could throw at me that would be enough for me to every stop thinking of him as my everything. The truth was that he was my everything. He always had been and deep within my soul I knew that he always would be. Eventually the hardness of the floor became too much for me as I proceeded to close up shop…inventory long forgotten as I made my way towards home. I had a plan…a simple and glorious plan that consisted of a hot shower and then me hiding away from the rest of world for just a little while as I tried to get my head around what happened. However…as with all good plans something usually gets in the way and I found that something sitting in my stairwell…looking like death warmed over.

It was a look that I had never in all my years of knowing Brian seen before. It was a look of loss…fear…confusion and pain all rolled into a once handsome face. It covered him in unglorious fashion…marking him as almost dowdy instead of his former brilliance. I once again found myself being sucked into the caretaker role because it nearly finished off my nearly un-beating heart to see him that way. “You can’t be here Brian” I whispered brokenly as I stepped past him…only to have him grab onto my leg and halt my actions.

“I’m sorry Michael…it wasn’t supposed to be like that” he spoke so softly that I had to really strain to hear him. “It’s just that I saw you with Justin and I just lost it. I don’t know what came over me…but…”

“It’s over. Justin is young and didn’t know what he was doing. I never wanted Justin…Brian…he’s all yours now” I replied…my throat aching with each word that passed from my lips. “Go to him…make him believe that you still love him and want him back” I couldn’t speak anymore as the lining of my throat began to constrict in obvious upset.

“You still think that this is about Justin?” Brian asked in what appeared to be a shocked and surprised tone…pulling himself off of the step as he forced me to face him. “This has nothing to do with Justin and everything to do with you”

“What are you talking about?” I asked just as surprised…my heart pounding so hard within my chest that I was waiting for it to expel right from my chest and splatter all over Brian’s face. “What does this have to do with me?” I pressed on…ignoring the fact that I was having a full on heart attack right then and there.

He didn’t say anything for long moments of time as between the two of us we sucked up all the air in the cramped and smelly stairwell. I was about to turn and go into my self planned hibernation…but he stopped me as he fell against the wall…falling to the floor…head in hands before he began to speak. “When it comes to you I always manage to fuck things up don’t I?” he began to speak cryptically…still hiding his face within his hands. He went silent once again and that time I waited patiently because I knew that whatever he had to say after that was going to be monstrous. “I’ve felt certain things for you for such a long time now…but as usual I never did or said anything about it” I could feel my heart begin to freeze within my chest…my breath catching in my throat as I too fell back against the wall…slinking to the hardness below me.

“What…what sort of things?” I dared to ask…closing my eyes in petrified wait of his response.

“That I love you Michael” his hoarse reply echoed around me…forcing to my eyes to fly open as they locked onto ones that were boring into my very soul as he continued to sit across from me. “That I am in love with you…but as usual I never said it…never did anything to prove it”

“Why…why did you never tell me how you felt?” I continued to question…fearful that my queries were going to cause him to bolt…but after twenty years of wanting him and not knowing why he never wanted me in return…I had to push forward. “You knew that I was in love with you…knew that I would have given up everything to have you love me back and yet you did nothing about it. Why?”

“Fear…plain and simple fear” was his honest response…never once breaking the hold that his eyes held on mine. “I was afraid that things would change between us…afraid that once you knew how much I loved you that you would expect to much from me and I would inevitable let you down. I was a coward…but with good reason Mikey” he replied tearfully as he reached out to touch me…only to pull back fearfully. “I was afraid to lose you because as you and everyone else that we know knows…I can’t live without you in my life. I love you Michael…but I had to keep it from you as not to lose you” he went on closing his eyes briefly as he took in a deep breath before pulling himself into a standing position. I watched as he dragged himself over the corner of the wall…head hung low before he continued “I was doing a great job too…fooling you as well as myself…but then that night with Justin forced me to realize I wasn’t fooling anyone but you…because I sure as hell wasn’t fooling myself”

“Then why? You’re the one who initiated the three-way. You knew what you were getting into…you knew how much I wanted you and yet you did nothing” anger twinged my voice as I fought to control it once again. “You allowed Justin to fuck me and then you fucked him as if I wasn’t even in the same room as you. Do you know how much that hurt me Brian?” my voice broke as I once again tired to control the tidal wave of emotions threatening to over burden me.

“I know…” he whispered into the wall. “I could see it on your face as I fucked him. I could hear it in your tears as you searched for your clothes before leaving afterwards. I knew…but I was too afraid to try and do anything to take the pain away so I decided to…”

“Pretend that nothing had happened…that everything was the same…until you walked in on us at the store?” I finished for him already knowing the answer as his shoulders slumped forward even further and a sound so foreign to the great Brian Kinney erupted from him. It was a shudder of pain…a sob of truth as he turned to face me fully…tears raining down his ruddy face.

“Yeah…” was his simple response as he held out his arms for me to fall into and as always when it came to the man I loved…I fell fast and I fell hard into them. “I’m so sorry Mikey” he sobbed against my ear as he drenched my shirt with his tears. “I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just fuck you like some cheap trick and then pretend that it was nothing at all. You mean so much more to me then that…you always have…don’t you get that? And then I saw you with Justin today and I just lost it. I’m so sorry that I hurt you…so sorry Mikey…so sorry” he chanted…pulling me tighter against his body in near suffocation…but I didn’t mind one little bit.

We just stood there…wrapping in each other’s arms as we both tried to come to terms with what had happened and what might be about to happen. My body was alive with every emotion known to man…happiness…fear…relief…anger…but the one emotion that I felt coursing through me the most of all was undeniable love. I loved him…loved him with my entire being despite everything that happened and would happen in the future. I had loved him from the first moment that I laid eyes upon him so many years ago and would continue to do so until my death. Yes…I loved him and would do everything and anything to prove that love to him and so I took the next step. “I love you Brian…now and forever” I spoke proudly and truthfully as I lifted his head from the crevice of my shoulder as to ensure that he understood every truth of my words.

“What…even now? After everything that has happened?” he questioned me his eyes swimming with fear.

“Even now…after everything that happened” I repeated with a shy smile. “Don’t you get it Brian…I love you. I’ve loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you back in high school and no matter what you do or say to me I will love you forever. I can’t live without you either…because no matter how hard I try I always end up coming back to you…because you are my everything”

“Oh god Mikey…we really fucked things up this time didn’t we” he cried out…once again crushing me against his body.

“It’s always been this way with us” I laughed softly against the softness of his neck as I inhaled the pure scent that was only Brian Kinney. “It wouldn’t be us if we didn’t fuck everything up before realizing just how bad we fucked up and fix it again” I felt a tremor of laughter ripple down his back as he continued to hold onto me tightly. “Now lets take this out of the hallway since I am sure that we gave everyone in the building a nice show” I chuckled…trying to wiggle my way out of his embrace.

“Oh don’t mind us honey…we don’t mind one bit” I heard Mrs. Pasquelli’s tearful reply from the apartment below us. “Tiberius and I are so happy for you baby”

My face red with complete and utter happiness as well as full on embarrassment I slithered out of Brian’s grasp as taking his hand I jerked him into my empty apartment. Closing the door half way…I changed my mind as I entered the hallway once again. “Thanks Mrs. Pasquelli” I replied with a full fledge smile before making my way back into my apartment and my greatest loves arms.

“So what do we do now?” Brian asked fearfully as he loosened the lock that we held on each other…gazing into my eyes as he waited for me to make the next move.

I wanted to torture him a bit…make him suffer just enough to make him squirm…but as I continued to look into those fear filled eyes I knew that I could not. We had come a long way and were finally about take the next step in our relationship…a step that I had wanted in what felt like forever to get there. “First we shower and then you take me to bed and make love to me like I have dreamed about for to many years to remember and then if your up to it…we do it again…again and again” I know what you are thinking that I forgave him to quickly…that maybe we jumped into the sex thing again to fast and maybe we did…but I loved Brian and when it came to him…in truth I could deny him nothing.

No words were spoken as we prepared for our shower…none had to be. I couldn’t stop touching him and him me as layer by layer the clothes began to disappear until we were naked and open to each other. I could feel his hesitation as I lured him into the tub and under the spray of the shower…but I soon kissed that hesitation away without a second thought. I was dying for him to make love to me…dying to make love to him…but we waited. That time together was all about preparation…all about adjusting to the idea that soon the lines between Brian and Michael were going to be crossed forever. Sure we had crossed them earlier that day…but that time it was different…we were different. It was the preparing for the act of making love…of giving of our bodies and souls to each other for all eternity…because I knew that after that night there was never a choice of going back for me. “I want you to know that after tonight Mikey…it’s all about you” he broke the gentle silence as if reading my most intimate of thoughts. “There will be no more tricking…no more lying to protect myself from you. I promise to be faithful to you and only you and I expect the same from you” I wanted to laugh in his face when he muttered those second set of words…but I held back because fidelity was never going to be a problem for me.

“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep Brian” I whispered with a true smile across my face because no matter how you looked at it…this was Brian Kinney that we were talking about. He fucked up…he made mistakes…but I wouldn’t take him any other way. “Lets just take one day at a time and go from there. I don’t expect you to changed over night and I don’t want you to. I love you for you…don’t you get that…only for you. It’s always been about you” tears littered my cheeks as I gazed up at him staring down at me with such love shining in his eyes that it literally took my breath away.

“I love you so much” he replied just as tearfully as he leaned down and placed a soft and lingering kiss upon my lips. The rest of the time that was spent under the wettened warmth was all about the cleansing of our bodies and our souls. We talked…talked good and long about everything pertaining to the two of us and would have continued if not for the water turning ice cold. Silently two shivering forms made their way out of the seclusion of the shower stall…neither knowing if it was from the cold or that fact that in a few scant minutes they were going to be crossing into territory that had never been crossed into before. I was utterly petrified as I dried myself off…never once breaking the lock that our eyes held upon each other. I could see his fear as well. However…I saw something else as well for I saw pure and raw desire burning behind those beautiful depths. Brian was back…gone was the sappy and tearful person who had declared his love for me so many times before hand. Gone was the man who vowed to change his ways in order to make me happy…instead stood the man with lust and fire swirling through his eyes…eyes that captivated me. He wanted me…I could tell and I knew that no matter what I was going to be his that night…over and over and over again. With a swift and decisive movement he had me over his shoulder in an instant as he practically ran for my bedroom door. I was giddy with delight and laughter as large hands held me steadfast…ensuring that I was going nowhere fast. He had no worry…because I was going nowhere…nowhere without him by my side ever again. I couldn’t help but scream with an outburst of frenzy as he tossed me on the bed…scanning my body from head to foot as if memorizing every detail as I just laid there and allowed him to do as he pleased.

“Are you sure Mikey?” I heard him ask…that same bit of fear from before once again peeking from his eyes. “Because maybe we should wait and…” I didn’t give him a chance to finish because I was sure. Hell…I was more then sure that nothing…not the doubt and the fear or anything else was going to stop us from getting to what was both needed most. With the grace of a puma I pounced forward…grabbing onto him unsuspecting as I tossed him across the bed. With that same stance I pinned his hips to the mattress with my knees as I straddled his heaving body. “I guess that is a yes” he giggled…causing me to giggle in turn for it was sound that was so unlike Brian.

My mouth turned up in a playful sneer…I didn’t bother to give him an answer as I began to lick and laze my tongue across the expanse of his neck and shoulders. I couldn’t believe how wonderful his skin tasted…how perfect it felt under my lips as I feasted upon it. If there was any doubt that what I was doing was less then adequate…it quickly vanished as repeated pressure upon my head alerted me that he had no intentions of allowing me to stop. I had no worries though as I increased the suctioned exploration…marking him as mine and only mine with each swipe of lips and tongue. Moving downward I traced a pattern from his neck to his chest…making sure to lick my way across his sculptured pecs…before teasing a pointed nipple between my teeth. His body arched immediately as I repeated my performance over and over again…before copying the procedure along the other. The man was sheer putty in my formally inactive hands before they began to roam southward…making sure to touch every inch on his flattened and chiseled stomach. I was dying to hold it…dying to feel his dick as I cupped it within my hands…but I control myself. I wanted to make his suffer some…wanted to torture and tease him until he was a quivering mass of sated man and I was nearly successful…nearly.

I could hear his not so silent protests as I continued to explore his body with my hands and my mouth…purposely avoiding the beautiful penis that wavered before me. I was smug in my actions…knowing that I had the great Brian Kinney just where I wanted him…but then in true Brian form he quickly regained control. So into my playful exploration I never felt his hands as the reached out to my own flush and heated body…only felt the coolness of the air around us as he literally jerked me up across the bed before fully pinning me against it. “You wanna play games Mikey” he growled playfully against my ear…tugging it gently between his teeth as I inhaled sharply from its contact. I could feel his hardness as it pressed right below my own…causing me to inhale once again…almost chocking on that same air as he shifted himself forward. “Easy there Mikey…easy” he laughed…pure mischief and lust floating in his eyes as they hovered above me. “This is only the appetizer…and we are no where near the main course”   
Said Breath quickly expelled over my dry lips as he once again urged the lower half of his body forward. I was so close to utter bliss that I had to fight the urge to pass out and miss what I had been waiting for half my life. Wrapping my legs about the contours of his strong hips…I began to set my own rhythm…our dicks rubbing and sliding over the others as we both went along for the pleasureful ride.

I was about to come right there as we continued to dry hump each other…as Brian taunted and teased my bare chest with his beautiful lips…but he had other ideas. You could have scraped me off of the ceiling if not for the weight of his body still perched atop mine as he reached between us and grabbed onto my fully erect penis. I wanted to scream…but the air would not surpass my lungs. I wanted to cry out in utter pleasure…but he refused to allow me as he invaded my mouth so forcefully that the air lodged deep within my throat quickly expelled. I was on fire…a fire so intense I felt as if I would combust at any moment. I knew that having sex with Brian was going to be earth shattering…but there we were just practicing foreplay and I was about to lose my fucking mind as well as my load.

 

“Uh huh…Mikey” I heard him purr against my ear once he had released my lips. “Not yet…not like this. I want to be inside you when you come” He words flowed like silk through my ear canal…into my very soul before blasting its way into my neater regions.

“Then fuck me already” I screamed out madly…clawing at his back…his shoulders…his chest…any place that I could make contact with to prove how dire my need was.

“You are such a fire cracker” I heard him chuckle…sending my frustration level out into the stratosphere. “But then again I always knew that you would be in bed”

“Brian…I love you” I rushed out between each fitful breath. “But if you don’t fuck me now…then I will find someone else to fuck me instead. Do you think that Justin is available?” I taunted…knowing that I was pushing my luck…but not caring because I needed to be fucked long and hard.

“He will never touch you again” he roared as he grabbed onto my shoulders in an almost a painful grip…but I didn’t care because I wanted him…rough…hard…and heated and if that was what it took then that was what I was going to do. Without much effort he flipped me onto my stomach…spreading my legs open wide as he knelt between them. “You want me to fuck you Mikey?” he questioned forcefully…his hands grabbing and kneading the flanks of my ass. “Tell me…” he yelled across my heaving shoulders…before inserting a single digit into my achingly neglected hole. “Do you want more Mikey? Do you want me to fuck you so hard that you will feel like you are coming for day? Is that what you want from me?” his line of shockingly arousing questions continued and with each one another finger or another trust. I couldn’t answer him since I was lost in complete delirium. I lost count as to how many fingers he had thrust up my ass…and I didn’t care as he poked…prodded and teased me until I was a near blubbering mess.

“Brian…please” I begged…not knowing where the tears were coming from and hating the fact that I could not control them in front of Brian. “Please Brian…I need you”

“I love you Mikey” he soothed against my ear as I felt him reach for the condom stash he knew I had in the top drawer of my nightstand. Like the pro that I knew that he was…he was slicked and protected in a matter of seconds as he placed himself in front of the place his hands had tortured moments before. Eyes closed…my teeth digging into my bottom lip I prepared for the pleasureful pain I knew was to come. It came a moment later as his hands came to rest upon my hips as inch my glorifying inch he eased his way inside me. The tears that I had been attempting to hold at bay once again got the better of me as with each perfect thrust a sob of relief accompanied it. It was everything that I knew it would be and yet so much more. Even today I cannot really explain the way that he made me feel. It was as if I was fully whole for the first time in my life. It was as if I was home…spiritually if you will. It was as if I was where I was supposed to be…with the man that I was destined to be with and I knew that no matter what happened after that night that Brian and I were going to be one forever. I came long and I came hard as he continued to pump into my offering body…he following mere moments later. I felt foolish and stupid as the tears still slide down my face…and yet as expected he just held me…as if in complete understanding. I couldn’t explain it for the life of me…but he knew…he always knew.

Our lives took a dramatic turn after that wondrous night together. I figured that things would in a sense go back to the way things were. I knew that he had promised monogamy and everything that went along with it…but regretfully I was afraid to believe him. However…true to his words he gave up the tricks completely. Oh don’t believe that he wasn’t tempted a time or two…but not once in all the years that we have been together has he strayed. It was really quite amazing the way that he settled into a full on relationship with only me and I couldn’t have been happier about that. We set up house shortly there after…selling the loft and giving up the apartment to buy a beautiful townhouse that quickly became our home. Between two successful careers…two thoroughly spoiled children and loving friends and family our lives are full and content. We have finally come full circle. We are happy and more in love then I ever thought possible and it was all thanks to a night that was the greatest night of my life…and yet my greatest nightmare as well.

The End…


End file.
